Aussie Curves Challenge: Hipster

When I think hipsters, I picture a book-toting, thick framed glasses wearing, vintage type-writer loving crafter who may be sitting in the local coffee shop writing the next great novel of our time. Or she could be Instagramming that perfect shot of her morning brew with just the right filter to give the photo some old world charm. Either or. 

Here's my translation of hipster through the lens of my wardrobe-

Please, do excuse the iPhone photo.

Cardigan- current stock Tempt $14.95 (XL)
Singlet- old stock Supre (XL)
Skirt- City Chic circa 2012 floral pleated dress (S)
Shoes- 2013 season Wittner black pony hair smoking slippers
Watch- Rose gold Michael Kors Sports Watch
Bracelets- Leather Hello Kitty cuff (random ebay store) equip tan leather headband worn on wrist
Necklace- Emmie & Eve polymer clay beads
Beanie- Sportsgirl $29.95
Glasses- someone left them at my house after a costume party. I think it was the person who came as Leonard from Big Bang Theory! Thanks, Leonard!

Close up of my hipster satchel, because it's my favourite!
I bought this when I was in Vancouver last year; it cost more than I could afford at the time but I'm so glad I did buy it. It's the perfect size to fit A4 books for uni, and has a bunch of different pockets. Cos I need somewhere to stash 5c pieces and muesli bars crumbs.  

Terribly grainy, but I  kept my makeup super simple for this one.

MAC Studio Sculpt Foundation
Maybelline Colossal Lash Mascara
MAC Sheertone Blush in Blushbaby
Custom lip colour mixed using:
 Revlon Colourburst Lip Butter in Macaroon and MAC LE Lustre Lipstick in Out To Please

Because I'm a Polyvore addict, and I have too much time on my hands, here is a fashion board for the Hipster theme.

This is what my imaginary hipster friend Maisy Littlebee is wearing. (Her real name is Mary Little, but her friends called her Maisy before ironic old-timey names were cool, so...)

Fox Jumper- $78 by Wild Fox Couture

Oxblood 13" classic satchel- $228 by Cambridge Satchel Company at Shopbop

Rust Oxford Ankle Booties- $34 at Overstock

Printed Skater Skirt in Navy Floral- $30 at Delia's

Bookclub Glasses $49.5 at Madewell

Lady Grey crochet knee high socks $4 from ebay (not currently avail in plus size)

Marc by Marc Jacobs Kitty Studs $38 from Zappos Couture

I'm loving the satchel; I know they've been around for ages but I still covet one. I adore the mint green, but it's no longer available on their website. And in reality- what would I wear it with? ASOS used to have a limited edition rose gold one that was divine, and was much more wearable. I've not had the cash to splurge on these bags, but if I did I would in a heartbeat!

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Mint To Be

So the whispers are that we've moved on from mint green in the fashion arena...nope, not me.

You could say im late to the party on this whole mint green trend. OR- I could say its my favourite colour, I knew it before it was cool, I had their very first demo tape, Ive been trendy before it was a thing.

Hipsters. Fucking hipsters. Just joking, I love their little souls. Don't send me complaint emails...(scans from vintage typewriters?) or abusive Instagramming. #deathbyhashtags?

So my crazy aside, let's explore some beautiful mint treasures I have found.




I pine for this skirt. But am not made of pine. Am lame though.
It's from Domino Dollhouse and I've been umming and aahhing over it for FOREVER.






Mint Swallows Brooch can be purchased here. Would look lovely pinned in front of a hair bun, or on a fuzzy litle cardi. Or you know, your shoe. You know whats best for you.



Mint Green/Seafoam Clip in Hair Streaks can be purchased here.
I think if you buy these hair streaks you are invited to join the Mermaid club. Like, you're in the bath one day, and BOOM a mermaid flies out of your drainhole (using Santa/chimney technology) and hands you an invite to the Mermaid brigade. It's like the owl with the Hogwarts invite, but with more green fake hair and seashell boobies.









25 Mint Green & White Stripe Paper Barber Stripe Straws can be purchased here

Don't try and box me in. I need more than 25. What if I have 26 guests. Or more likely, what if I destroy all of these straws with my garish lipstick.



These sausage fingers can't be purchased! These are my little fingers freshly painted with Biosculpture in Pistachio. And my (fake of course) rose gold triangle ring from Lovisa.



The coloured fake hair wouldnt normally be my thing...but I'm planning on going back to my natural colour (dark brown) as although I love being bright red, the maintenance is just ridiculous. I'm picturing these strips under dark brown/almost black hair, curled so you can see the contrast then pinned at the nape of the neck.

Thoughts/Opinions/Discuss.

Op! Op! Op!

I love a good fad or a trend, especially when it comes with a catchy tune.

Heres a little blast from the past- remember the Crazy Frog? No- how about Hamster Dance? As annoying as they were/are they serve as little time capsules- I still remember where I was when I heard that ridiculous Ketchup Song.

 I was incredulous...and then slowly and obediently raised my hands and shimmied whilst singing along in broken and garbled Spanish (a language which to this day I do not speak.)

I said a HEY HA...something something arother BOOGIE BOOGIE SOMETHING A BEAT.

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And so if you are one of the 180 odd million people that have viewed this already, please let's embrace it together. And if you have not...well you're welcome.

I present to you, the enthusiastic Korean rapper, Psy.

 

Even Britney wants to get on board.... and from the man himself comes the best quote ever, and my new personal motto-

"Dress classy, dance cheesy."

If only I could get OP OP OP! or Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyy Sexxyyy Ladiieeeessssss out of my head.

In My Absence

Holy guacamole, I've been busy.

What have I been doing?

I moved house. I am now the proud tenant of a very tiny bedsit, which despite it turning out to have many flaws (of which we shall explore in further posts), is all mine.

What you see below is my spacious, open plan kitchen. And when I say spacious, you know I really mean it literally has no cupboards or a pantry.

(These pics are how the place was the day I moved in. I've since changed things around a bit.)

*My orange benchtop brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like...Wtf is that?*

I can't help but feel that when the last tenant left the cow door stopper she was quietly glad to be rid of the creepy little thing

I may have mentioned previously, the last tenant was kind enough to leave the flat fully furnished. I took over responsibility of the furniture and thank goodness I could get rid of some of it, because alot was broken. Drawers without casters, a smashed glass door in the buffet, no biggie. Especially since I didnt have to pay a cent for it. But there were some real doozies.

The sight you are beholding in the second pic is of my sweeping, airy loungeroom. I say airy, because its not really sealed. I put on a candle the other day and the wind blew it out from outside.

That's my little flat! Tiny, tiny, tiny.

I have an outdoor toilet. You read correctly.

Calm down, it's not one of those drop pits you may have witnessed on long bushwalks or Scout camps.

But it does have a ridiculously cold concrete floor, and sometimes in the mornings I roll around in bed trying to ignore my screaming bladder because its so cold, and I look furtively around the room at all vessels big enough to hold my pee before finally deciding that is disgusting, giving up and doing that weird GOTTA PEE hobble/hop to the bathroom.

I'm classy like that.

Also, my place came free with a hideous shower curtain.

Living solo is a new challenge. Turns out, cooking for one is a whole lot of effort. You know whats easier? Eating hommus and cheese at 9pm in your undies watching Gossip Girl. Uh.... not that I would know what that's like. I was purely speculating.

Also, in a case of last person EVER to jump on the bandwagon, I have started watching Gossip Girl. Oh no, not at the most recent season with all of you with foxtel, but I have been renting the seasons from my local Ye Olde Video Ezy. How reminiscent, how hipster.

The reason for this is that the antenna at my abode is..atrocious. Not quite sure that the issue is there, but I can only get reception for Channel 28. I am exceptionally up to date on Russian news, despite my lack of comprehension on what the dickens its all about. I've also seen enough world movies (aka thinly veiled dirty flicks) to last me a while.

So Gossip Girl Season 1 & 2 and Greys Anatomy Season 1 & 2 have become my new friends. Even so much so that I watch episodes late into the night and wake up thinking, 'Is there enough time to watch GG whilst I eat my breakfast?!'

A problem, I haz one.

But Chuck and Blair! She said I love you! He didnt! He left her stranded in Europe! She started dating a Lord! He FINALLY said it back!

Don't you dare tell me what's happening in the most recent series-I have been so close to peeking at IMDB so many times for future Chuck/Blair shenanigans, but so far have resisted.

Shall keep you updated on the happenings in my crazy little flat.

GOT IT

I got approved for the property! Thanks for all of your tips, they worked a treat.

Whilst I'm here... The GOT IT also refers to the CR Chantal satchel I posted about. Couldn't help myself, I obsessed for days over it and have used it every day since it came to live with me.

Wish me luck for packing, I'm going to need it!

You Crazy Little Coconuts

There are upsides to having a blog. I can blab on about things of no real consequence, connect to other blog authors and readers, and spend some good old quality time with my computer on the cold wintery nights Geelong produces so well.

My ABSOLUTELY FAVOURITE thing about having a blog is tracking the way my readers find me. I have been getting a lot of google searches lately resulting in followers, but its the things they are searching for that literally cracks me up.

I bring to you my illustrious list of  Top 3 Google Search Terms to find my Blog so far-

1. PENGUIN ATTACK.

I assume my blog comes up due to this post, but crikey, do people think there are killer penguins just waiting in bushes and wheely bins waiting to unleash their fury?!

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2. SPANKING JAPAN

You want to spank the whole country? Or just hoping to find a resident being spanked? Finding my blog should be a lesson to the person looking for the spanking to be much, much more specific in their searches.

Not quite as office appropriate as the old 'World No 1 Dad' mug.
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3. HAIRY LOVE

Because furries need love too, don't you know. And so do men who are overdue for their back waxing. Speaking of, I saw a man in Daylesford on the weekend at a spa with his shirt removed in the waiting room. (Odd in itself, right?) Anywho, this man was quite blessed in the chest, back and shoulder hair category- to the point I could see the grain of what direction it was growing in, could see it swirl around on his shoulders, and the light shone through it. There was a whole lot of hair going on, which for some reason fascinates me.

I was early for my appointment and am notorious for making inane chatter when nervous, trying to fill awkward silences but in turn making it more awkard by blurting things out inappropriately.

The man caught my eye and I said to him, 'Is this your first time?' thinking that he was getting his back waxed for the first time because it was so, so hairy.

He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face and said- 'No- I get it done every three weeks?'

YIKES.

This wasnt the actual guy. He was even hairier. Lol
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And so, my dear blog friends, looking forward to seeing some more freaky searches coming soon. Oh, the things people google in the privacy of their own home, with the capacity to delete their browsing history.

x

Hump Day Funnies