In My Absence

Holy guacamole, I've been busy.

What have I been doing?

I moved house. I am now the proud tenant of a very tiny bedsit, which despite it turning out to have many flaws (of which we shall explore in further posts), is all mine.

What you see below is my spacious, open plan kitchen. And when I say spacious, you know I really mean it literally has no cupboards or a pantry.

(These pics are how the place was the day I moved in. I've since changed things around a bit.)

*My orange benchtop brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like...Wtf is that?*

I can't help but feel that when the last tenant left the cow door stopper she was quietly glad to be rid of the creepy little thing

I may have mentioned previously, the last tenant was kind enough to leave the flat fully furnished. I took over responsibility of the furniture and thank goodness I could get rid of some of it, because alot was broken. Drawers without casters, a smashed glass door in the buffet, no biggie. Especially since I didnt have to pay a cent for it. But there were some real doozies.

The sight you are beholding in the second pic is of my sweeping, airy loungeroom. I say airy, because its not really sealed. I put on a candle the other day and the wind blew it out from outside.

That's my little flat! Tiny, tiny, tiny.

I have an outdoor toilet. You read correctly.

Calm down, it's not one of those drop pits you may have witnessed on long bushwalks or Scout camps.

But it does have a ridiculously cold concrete floor, and sometimes in the mornings I roll around in bed trying to ignore my screaming bladder because its so cold, and I look furtively around the room at all vessels big enough to hold my pee before finally deciding that is disgusting, giving up and doing that weird GOTTA PEE hobble/hop to the bathroom.

I'm classy like that.

Also, my place came free with a hideous shower curtain.

Living solo is a new challenge. Turns out, cooking for one is a whole lot of effort. You know whats easier? Eating hommus and cheese at 9pm in your undies watching Gossip Girl. Uh.... not that I would know what that's like. I was purely speculating.

Also, in a case of last person EVER to jump on the bandwagon, I have started watching Gossip Girl. Oh no, not at the most recent season with all of you with foxtel, but I have been renting the seasons from my local Ye Olde Video Ezy. How reminiscent, how hipster.

The reason for this is that the antenna at my abode is..atrocious. Not quite sure that the issue is there, but I can only get reception for Channel 28. I am exceptionally up to date on Russian news, despite my lack of comprehension on what the dickens its all about. I've also seen enough world movies (aka thinly veiled dirty flicks) to last me a while.

So Gossip Girl Season 1 & 2 and Greys Anatomy Season 1 & 2 have become my new friends. Even so much so that I watch episodes late into the night and wake up thinking, 'Is there enough time to watch GG whilst I eat my breakfast?!'

A problem, I haz one.

But Chuck and Blair! She said I love you! He didnt! He left her stranded in Europe! She started dating a Lord! He FINALLY said it back!

Don't you dare tell me what's happening in the most recent series-I have been so close to peeking at IMDB so many times for future Chuck/Blair shenanigans, but so far have resisted.

Shall keep you updated on the happenings in my crazy little flat.

One of those cliched 'Year In Review' posts

Yup, 2011 has disappeared. I may be one of the last people in the world to realise this fact, except for those currently in comas, and WOW will they be shocked when they wake up.  (I'm sorry- comas arent funny. Commas, now they sometimes are, when, placed, hilariously. That was not one of those times )



I dont count Jan 1st as a 'real' day. Technically its that one day that my resolutions should kick in, I should bound out of bed, powered by my motivation to my new goals.


The reality is that I awoke on Jan 1st, and groaned. Then sighed. Then rolled over and did a complicated move of groaning and sighing, hoping to incite some feelings of sympathy from my long-suffering boyfriend, Billosaurus Rex. (Yes, I actually call him that.   Patly because it involves his name, and partly because sometimes he is kind of a big oaf, clueless with an iPhone and remotes, and has tiny arms in comparison to the rest of his giant, smaller dinosaur eating body. I kid, I kid.)

                                                                                                                       Source: How Stuff Works with a little detail drawn on!

In my mind, he was looking at me thinking, 'You are the love of my life, I just want to care for you and fluff the pillows around your precious head, and how do you feel about freshly squeezed juice of my home grown fruit?'

In reality, he was assessing the rumpled, hair matted, eyelash extensions half hanging off, maybe slightly drooling, clammy mess.

Finally, after a good 5 minutes of more poorly acted groaning and sighing (An Oscar winner, unfortunately, I will never be), he finally exclaimed 'Alright!! I'll go get you hotcakes! Geez.'

And thats why Jan 1st isnt a 'real' day. I am not equipped to function on that day. And, I gobble hotcakes like a frantic evil gremlin.

So, here I am, finally admitting 2011 is over. Lets take a minute to create a musical montage of the year that was. (You will have to provide your own music, gosh, I cant do everything around here.)

Imperative, Integral and other Important sounding words Events that happened in 2011-

• Billosaurus Rex and I had our first Valentines Day together. It wasnt that momentous. I would even say it was heinously disappointing. Better luck next year, eh.

• Sadly, our family lost a member. Auntie Kassie (really my great aunt) lived a long, fulfilling and happy life, reaching the grand old age of 96. I wish she could have gotten to 100, to receive her long awaited telgraph from the queen- she was a royalist through and through. She was also a self made woman, never had children, and was a true feminist. Im really proud that she was my Auntie.

• I made a huge leap career-wise, and began studying as a mature aged student at uni, full-time. This was a massive decision, one that affects my work (now part-time), my future (hopefully at the end of this I'll be a primary school teacher!), my lifestyle (Im broke), my relationship and friendships (I barely have time for human functions let alone catching up) and my sanity. (I dont have any.)

• I got a promotion at work. Woo for now being responsible for others!

• My sister got pregnant, after thinking she could no longer have children!

• One of my closest friends, K, got married to the most perfect man in the world for her. They met 4 years ago at 5am in a nightclub when were all under the weather, they went home with each other, and casually saw each other a few more times *cough shag buddies cough*,  when she fell pregnant! He stuck around, they bought a house and a business, planned and had another beautiful kidlet, and now are married! I truly believe there is no perfect track or pathway to your great love.

• I saw an amazingly accurate psychic, B. She is phenomenal- everything she said has come to fruition, and although I was a sceptic initially, I know have complete faith in her.

Is that all I did in a whole year? I'm sure there was more. TBH I kind of cant be assed thinking back, lets move to the future of 2012!