Aussie Curves Challenge: Hipster

When I think hipsters, I picture a book-toting, thick framed glasses wearing, vintage type-writer loving crafter who may be sitting in the local coffee shop writing the next great novel of our time. Or she could be Instagramming that perfect shot of her morning brew with just the right filter to give the photo some old world charm. Either or. 

Here's my translation of hipster through the lens of my wardrobe-

Please, do excuse the iPhone photo.

Cardigan- current stock Tempt $14.95 (XL)
Singlet- old stock Supre (XL)
Skirt- City Chic circa 2012 floral pleated dress (S)
Shoes- 2013 season Wittner black pony hair smoking slippers
Watch- Rose gold Michael Kors Sports Watch
Bracelets- Leather Hello Kitty cuff (random ebay store) equip tan leather headband worn on wrist
Necklace- Emmie & Eve polymer clay beads
Beanie- Sportsgirl $29.95
Glasses- someone left them at my house after a costume party. I think it was the person who came as Leonard from Big Bang Theory! Thanks, Leonard!

Close up of my hipster satchel, because it's my favourite!
I bought this when I was in Vancouver last year; it cost more than I could afford at the time but I'm so glad I did buy it. It's the perfect size to fit A4 books for uni, and has a bunch of different pockets. Cos I need somewhere to stash 5c pieces and muesli bars crumbs.  

Terribly grainy, but I  kept my makeup super simple for this one.

MAC Studio Sculpt Foundation
Maybelline Colossal Lash Mascara
MAC Sheertone Blush in Blushbaby
Custom lip colour mixed using:
 Revlon Colourburst Lip Butter in Macaroon and MAC LE Lustre Lipstick in Out To Please

Because I'm a Polyvore addict, and I have too much time on my hands, here is a fashion board for the Hipster theme.

This is what my imaginary hipster friend Maisy Littlebee is wearing. (Her real name is Mary Little, but her friends called her Maisy before ironic old-timey names were cool, so...)

Fox Jumper- $78 by Wild Fox Couture

Oxblood 13" classic satchel- $228 by Cambridge Satchel Company at Shopbop

Rust Oxford Ankle Booties- $34 at Overstock

Printed Skater Skirt in Navy Floral- $30 at Delia's

Bookclub Glasses $49.5 at Madewell

Lady Grey crochet knee high socks $4 from ebay (not currently avail in plus size)

Marc by Marc Jacobs Kitty Studs $38 from Zappos Couture

I'm loving the satchel; I know they've been around for ages but I still covet one. I adore the mint green, but it's no longer available on their website. And in reality- what would I wear it with? ASOS used to have a limited edition rose gold one that was divine, and was much more wearable. I've not had the cash to splurge on these bags, but if I did I would in a heartbeat!

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Mint To Be

So the whispers are that we've moved on from mint green in the fashion arena...nope, not me.

You could say im late to the party on this whole mint green trend. OR- I could say its my favourite colour, I knew it before it was cool, I had their very first demo tape, Ive been trendy before it was a thing.

Hipsters. Fucking hipsters. Just joking, I love their little souls. Don't send me complaint emails...(scans from vintage typewriters?) or abusive Instagramming. #deathbyhashtags?

So my crazy aside, let's explore some beautiful mint treasures I have found.




I pine for this skirt. But am not made of pine. Am lame though.
It's from Domino Dollhouse and I've been umming and aahhing over it for FOREVER.






Mint Swallows Brooch can be purchased here. Would look lovely pinned in front of a hair bun, or on a fuzzy litle cardi. Or you know, your shoe. You know whats best for you.



Mint Green/Seafoam Clip in Hair Streaks can be purchased here.
I think if you buy these hair streaks you are invited to join the Mermaid club. Like, you're in the bath one day, and BOOM a mermaid flies out of your drainhole (using Santa/chimney technology) and hands you an invite to the Mermaid brigade. It's like the owl with the Hogwarts invite, but with more green fake hair and seashell boobies.









25 Mint Green & White Stripe Paper Barber Stripe Straws can be purchased here

Don't try and box me in. I need more than 25. What if I have 26 guests. Or more likely, what if I destroy all of these straws with my garish lipstick.



These sausage fingers can't be purchased! These are my little fingers freshly painted with Biosculpture in Pistachio. And my (fake of course) rose gold triangle ring from Lovisa.



The coloured fake hair wouldnt normally be my thing...but I'm planning on going back to my natural colour (dark brown) as although I love being bright red, the maintenance is just ridiculous. I'm picturing these strips under dark brown/almost black hair, curled so you can see the contrast then pinned at the nape of the neck.

Thoughts/Opinions/Discuss.

Handbag Desperation

Oh gosh, I want this bag so badly.

PROS

- It's the perfect size

- It's made of pony hair and leather, and I don't own anything made from pony hair!
- Could always do with more leather.
- It's in a perfect shade for autumn
- Wouldn't I look jaunty and sassy flouncing around uni with this baby
- It's on sale! $50 off!
- It's the same colour as my hair. Matchy-matchy.
- I could pat my handbag because it has real hair on it. I can't pat any of my other handbags.

CONS

- I can't really afford it.
- I've already bought 3 handbags in the last month
- I have another Country Road bag on layby yet to be picked up
- Where on earth am I going to keep it? Running low on bag storage. Or I was, 6 handbags ago.
- Isn't it  bit creepy to pat your handbag?!
- Is this really a handbag I could wear for years?
- It's not really big enough for any of my uni stuff?
- How do they even get the hair from the pony, or should I not ask?

Thoughts/Opinions/Discuss.

Trenery/End of Trimester

Settle down people, I'm not pregnant. Although, I would feel better about my recent holiday weight gain if I atleast had a baby to blame it on! Food baby does not count.

I'm talking end of Trimester at uni. Deakin are special like that- we have trimesters instead of semesters. In all of the brochures they talk this up like 'Get your degree quicker at Deakin! Do a summer trimester!' but it's fuck all usefullness if your course doesnt offer any units in the summer trimester.

Anywho.

It's almost the end of Trimester 1 for the year. It also marks the end of my first complete year at uni! I did things the wonky way and started the Bachelor of Primary Education mid year 2011, essentially turning a 4 year degree into a 4 and a half year degree because they changed the course structure at the beginning of 2012. It feels like I still have foreeeever to go!

So to celebrate (read: I randomly felt like shopping and am using this event as an excuse) I have purchased the following from Trenery- (and when I say bought I mean put on lay-buy with the minimum deposit, because I'm a poor uni student)


Erika Ostrich Embossed Tote from Trenery


I love a good bag, and my reasoning on this one is-

• I don't have any brown bags
• I don't have any bags big enough to fit all of my uni books
• This bag will match my brown or black leather boots for winter
• I wanted it

The ostrich leather is very soft.This bag is not my usual taste, I am generally a fan of black everything. Time to branch out, and lets face it, this is much less drastic than bungee jumping.

I did have to stop myself from purchasing the following-



Zig Zag Scarf from Trenery

Basket Weave Scarf from Trenery

It's funny- the unit I despised all trimester (Analysing Childrens Literature) is the one I have received the best marks in and have decided to continue on with as an elective. The marks I earnt didnt come easy, and I was really forced to sharpen my essay writing skills for my tough tutor.

But for now....it's holiday time.

Did I mention I am going on a cruise to Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand? I am.

My niece turned 18 in March, so 3 of my sisters and myself are all celebrating with her and going cruising for a week. Only a little trip, but am feeling very lucky to be going on it, especially since Ive barely unpacked from Japan.

Not bad for an end of uni reward, hey?

x

Memoirs of a Cindy-geisha?

I really loved Kyoto.

Kyoto is the Japan you imagine in your dreams- old-style houses with tatami mats, narrow cobbled streets lined with cherry-blossoms, and geishas slipping from one appointment to the next.

Always fascinated in Japanese culture, I have read a lot of books about the mysterious geisha (or geiko as they are called in Kyoto), the famed Memoirs of a Geisha (a work of fiction) and another called Geisha by Liza Dalby, an account of an American woman who worked and lived alongside geishas in the 70's.

Something about the painted faces, their elegance, and the elaborately beautiful kimonos has always gotten me...and so when I went to Japan I wanted in! (Or as in as uncoordinated chubby Australian is ever going to get!)

Signage in front of Maiko. Not a word of English, but easily worked through

My trusty Lonely Planet guide recommended a company called Maica, who specialise in the geiko and maiko makeover experience. A maiko is an apprentice geisha, which many non-Japanese get mixed up. The image of the geiko in bright kimono with flowers in her hair is stunning, but is more likely to be a maiko. Geiko tend to have a more subdued appearance, with muted colours and less adornments.

Maica is quite easy to spot, despite not having a street number

I did a little bit of a double take when there was only an intercom to communicate- when I pressed the button a Japanese sing-song voice spoke a mile a minute whilst I stood there looking baffled. Luckily, the lady of the house heard my pathetic little "Hello?" took pity on me, and collected me from the front door.

The lovely woman (I wish her name, but it was very difficult to find out with no common language!) was very warm and welcoming, and made it clear what she needed from me with her pointing and hand gestures. The whole process was very smooth.

Sexy cotton robe I was to wear over my undergrunds

The first step was makeup. The woman led me into the very narrow, creaky old building with three stories of winding stairs (with no handrails). Even the steps were super narrow, and I felt like a giant bull in a china shop, lol.

The white makeup basewas very, very thick. It was thicker than the pancake I recognise from dancing, and the Kroyolan I have at home for costume parties. I had moisturiser on but I could just tell that this was going to be a tough job to get off my face! The makeup itself was very oily, and reminded me of the oil paintings I paint on canvas at home.

I found it interesting that there was only a tiny touch of red on my top lip- most of my top lip was went over with the white base, and then the bottom was highlighted.

Ironically the pink eyebrows matched my hair for the first time ever

Next step was the dressing room, which was kind of intense. No photos for this process, it was arduous by all accounts, lol.

Have you ever been on school camp and when it came to pack up time, became frustrated that your sleeping bag was not fitting in its case, so you stuff it in haphazardly?

Yeah. I was the sleeping bag being stuffed into a kimono. Stuffed in by tiny Japanese women, the heaviest of which probably weighed 50kg. (When wet.)

There were 3 (!) women grabbing here, grabbing there, one holding an obi (Japanese sash) tie, one with her hand inside my cotton robe pressing down on my boobs to keep them flat, and another behind trying to secure it all in.

It wasn't so much that I was too fat for the kimono (they are kind of a free size situation) it was just that there are so many layers, things to tie, and bits to keep hidden under the final kimono layer.

In the end the kimono was very tight and the lady kept asking me if I was ok. I think she thought I was going to faint or something, but all I could think of was 'This is nothing compared to the first time I wore Spanx!'

I will also mention that if you have a chubby round face, and a double (or triple?) chin you are trying to draw attention from, a slicked back hairdo and white face paint is not going to do you any favours, lol.

A maiko emerges from the dressing experience

After I was dressed we had a photo-shoot inside for the professional shots I could purchase. To be honest, most of them are so stiff (in terms of how they have posed me) I'm not that keen on them. I did get some hilarious stickers, which are so small its impossible to tell that I'm not a real maiko.

My hair was combed over what they call a semi-wig. The semi-wig was exceptionally heavy and I felt like I couldnt move my head too quickly or I would lose the whole lot. Did you ever try to balance books on your head as a kid? It felt like that.

Instead of just having hair on the semi-wig there were like 3 waxy blocks covered in hair, that they then took my hair and brushed into it before securing the whole 'do with some pins and flower clips.

Source: Maica

I kinda like how my pink hair matches me outfit! All of the photos of Japanese women getting the makeover have the black hair that matches- im not sure what they would do if I was a blonde. Maybe they would then offer the full wig? (I spied one in the shelf where they had my wig, but it didnt look nearly as good as the semi-wigs.)

Mock tea ceremony

I thought it was really helpful that the team at Maica let you take photos with your own camera. Because I was all on my lonesome, they even acted as a photographer for me, which I thought was really kind!

There are all kind of mock traditional setups inside the building for posing. I felt very silly, but how often am I going to be dressed as a maiko in Kyoto?!

My new photography assistant even took me outside, to get authentic photos in Gion. Gion is the tradional Geiko quarters in Kyoto, and much of the old architecture remains. I truly felt like a real geiko hobbling around those streets.

Oh yes, hobbling. Ever worn camel socks, and balanced on wooden clogs that have an exceptionally small base but a very high platform? Oh, and they were about an Australian size 5 (if even that.) My shoe size is normally 8.5.

The photographer kept making odd movements indicating for me to look in the distance, tilt my head etc. Most of these photos I just look kind of confused, lol.

Shit. I know that I'm short (5'2 :( ) but holy crap this photo really makes it obvious haha. Can you see my feet handing over the base of the shoes? The little bit of skin showing is supposed to be alluring- the only little bit of flesh visible. Certainly classier than getting my cans out.

 Just before my Maiko experience in Kyoto was over, an older Japanese woman ran up to me and tapped me on the shoulder and beamed at me-

'Pretty! Pretty! Gaijin Green eye geiko!' (Gaijin means non-Japanese or foreigner.)

She then giggled and ran away!

Lol?

Things Im Afraid To Tell You

I first heard about this post on the Vogue Forums, and found it a really interesting (albeit terrifying) concept.

What am I afraid to tell you?

1. I am too chicken shit to go to a doctor to find out if I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I know logically it wont get any better, nor will my mind ever be at ease, if I avoid the doctor, but there you have it. I have all of the major symptoms (hormonal acne, weight gain, holding alot of weight around the stomach area, loss of periods, mood swings, and excess hair growth.) I have had these symptoms for atleast 5 YEARS but only recently clicked that there could be a reason for it. I just blamed them all on gaining weight. Still not getting any closer to the doctor to find out.

2. Which brings me to the second point- excess hair growth. *deep breath* My name is Cindy, and I have hairs on my chin.

Alot of women do- but do you think that sentence was any easier to write because of it? I never had a problem with it before, but since having hormonal problems I have discovered them. Of course I remove ASAP, but this is not without first feeling the full shame. Women arent supposed to have beards! My chin is supposed to be smooth as a babies bum!

I freak out when Billasaurus Rex touches the lower part of my face (for fear he will feel the hairs) and have recently been having a nightmare that Billasaurus Rex and I go camping, and I am stranded and have forgotten to bring my tweezers. I cant help but feel even dream-me is melodramatic. Lol

3. I'm not really very fashionable. I love fashion blogs, could read through them all day, but its only a desperate attempt to absorb others fashion sense through the screen.

4. I have been that woman that stayed in an abusive relationship for 6 years. The woman that everyone wants to shake sense into, and tell that she is stupid and that she should leave him. That was me.
It's funny- I tolerated hitting, kicking, shoving, horrible name-calling and hair-pulling, but the day he spat in my face I knew I was done.

My opinion on Chris Brown? You really want to know?!

5. I consider myself a feminist. It seems to be a dirty word these days, especially with some men. Do I agree with any argument any feminist has ever put forward? No. But do I believe that women should be paid equally, have the same rights as men, and hope that one day what a woman has to say for herself is more important than her appearance? You bet your ass I do. (Seriously, check out Jezebel. Interesting articles and often hilarious comments)

And that's all I'm brave (or stupid) enough to share.

What are you afraid to tell?

Undergrunds

I am an organisational nightmare. The days I actually read my mail, I feel so smug and self-righteous I dont read it again for another 3 days.


My clothes drawers? Oh dear.


There is one that I physically cant even open, such it is jammed with clothes. Ive almost decided to leave it closed, like some kind of clothes time capsule or weird gift to myself.

My lingerie/every day knickers/bras/hosiery/socks/pyjamas/scarves drawers were looking pretty horrendous. (I think the problem may have been that I was jamming all of the above into two very small spots!)

So in a fit of organisation, I sourced these babies from ebay:

It's not the best photo, but does document my new endeavour to have a drawer where unmentionables dont fly out at me!

These are foldable, and the material is nice and light with perforations- so your bits and pieces can breathe. They fold down completely flat, and have a slightly thicker base which zips in to keep the whole thing nice and strong.

Im pretty happy with my new little storage system, and for $20 odd dollars including shipping from South Korea, what more can I want?

New knickers and bras to fill it up!

Golden Globes

Yes people, lets look at this years Golden Globe Fashion.

First: BRIGHT COLOURS!

First off- before I address the weirdness in the boob area- why is Kelly Osbourne at the GG?
But I digress. It seems to be just this photo, but there is some odd pointyness in the boob area of Kelly's dress. A million smurfs died for this creation, yet none of their tiny little hands could stitch the bust up properly.

Maria Menounos in canary yellow. I generally dont like yellow, but im digging this on her! I do think it looks a little ill-fitting at the top of her stomach though.

Natalie Portman channeling Marilyn Monroe singing 'Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend'. I notice like Angelina (who mwe will get to shortly) that she is donning the 'red sash on top of boobs with matching bag look'. Is this a new trend? Quick, im going to need some sashes! Im not a big fan of this one. Natalie has such a lovely figure, and she kind of looks swamped in a giant pink plastic tablecloth from a kids party.

Hi, Laura Dern! I have no idea who you are, or why I should have heard of you. But emerald green and sparkly, I'm on board. She has a beautiful decollatage, and that sparkly v neck trim looks great.
I love the way it hangs- for a long sleeved, floor length gown, or any gown for that matter, there is nothing dowdy about this at all.

Reese, was your hairdresser busy?
Love the dress, this shade of red really suits her. Reese always looks amazing, which is why we can forgive her for this hair, which isnt terrible, but not as polished as the dress calls for.

Oh, Emma Stone. You make me want to be a redhead so, so badly. (Ive heard rumours she is a natural blonde though?) Love everything about this, especially the plunging neckline, and those little glitzy cap sleeves. Elegant, without being boring and predictable. Eggplant elongates her elegant...elephant? Illiterations were never my strong point.

TILDA! Yes, yes, yes!
She will forever be the Ice Queen roaming around Narnia offering small children Turkish Delight to me (wait...now you mention that, thats actually quite creepy).
Hair is fantastic, the colour of her dress really suits her skintone, and the way the fabric twists highlights her waist perfectly.

THE UGLY:

I love you Melissa McCarthy. I do. You stole the show in Bridesmaids, crack me up in Mike & Molly, and I even recall loving you from your Gilmore Girls days.
BUT. I can only forgive you so much.
Ive never said this before on my blog, but I used to be a size 22. It was hell finding every day clothes, even simple things like a white teeshirt or black pants. And im not talking 'difficult to find the perfect item', im talking 'difficult to find basics in your size AT ALL'.
That being said- this is not the best look on Melissa. Only last week I saw an amazing pic of her in head to toe black sequins, which wowwed me. This? A bit of a stretchy, shapeless, mumu.

From the waist up, another impeccable pic of Charlize Theron.
The colour of this dress paired with her flawless complexion is a dream.
But around the knees, WTF? Its bunchy at the front and flowing at the back, its a mullet. A layered, expensive material mullet. I know you have great legs Charlize, they make me wretch with jealousy. Choose a dress- short or long?! Both is not a viable option! It's Billy Ray Cyrus in dress form!

NO. Just NO.

Once when I was a little girl (as opposed to that time I was a little iguana) my Mum was baking a sponge cake before my Nana came over for tea. My Nana was a farm girl, and cooked a sponge every day for when the workers came in for morning tea. Baking standards were high.

Unfortunately my Mum's sponges were never quite right. They were often more like rock cakes, but dammit Mum was going to get it right this time!

My Mum was lightly folding the batter with a metal spoon, ensuring she didnt overbeat it, or else she would end up once again with one of the afore mentioned rock cakes.

She turned to begin washing the dishes, probably pleased with her efforts so far.

I had been playing with homemade play dough that Mum had made for me earlier. (A fair amount of that salty, malleable gold was consumed.)

I had watched Mum earlier put the food dye in to my playdough. It fascinated me how it took the smallest amount of dye to make such vibrant colour. I figured surely Mum needed her sponge to be beautifully coloured, to impress Nana.

I picked up that little squeeze bottle of blue dye, and poured every last drop into the cake mix.

I started to panic- even 5yo me knew this was a little too blue.

Picking up the metal spoon that was calmly folding the mixture only moments earlier, I frantically mixed, hoping the vibrant blue colour would perhaps fade away.

Sarah Michelle Gellars dress reminds me of that mix. My bottom hurts just thinking about it. Lol

(Incidentally, that sponge was the lightest, fluffiest sponge Mum had ever made, and I will never forget the look on my Nanas face when she spied what looked like a giant, iced Blu Loo block sitting on our bench.)

THE WINNERS IN MY VIEW

Evan Rachel Wood, looking hot to trot! If I was Jamie Bell I would want to marry her too! Loving the dark sequins, mix of different colours, and the plunging neckline that is sexy, without having everything hanging out. Great eyebrows too.

Yes, im going to sing Angelinas praises like every other second person.
As soon as i saw the way the fabric was draped around her hips...swoon. Fits like a glove, and she actually looks a lot healthier than we have been seeing her lately. Angelina looks poised, beautiful, and Hollywood perfection. The flash of red adds a point of interest, and sits high on her collarbones. Im glad this dress didnt have a low neckline too, I think it looks perfect the way it is. Classy.

Kate Winslet knows exactly what flatters her. That milky white skin, peeping out from the black keyhole in the dress, is stunning. The belt and the earrings are delicate and really finish off this dress. Those curves in the white skirt, love em. Insanely jealous. And that perfectly arched brow? I like to think even poised Kate is giving Sarah Michelle the 'Bitch Please' face over that disaster of a dress.

I have to stop here...I could look at these pics all night!!